Nature’s healing power. This is a discussion with Men’s Coach Soma Miller, about nature’s power to heal illnesses like depression, and anxiety. We talk about violence in cities. We discuss my theory that something a simple as working out or resting in nature could hold a key to peace in our inner cities. Soma talks about Permaculture and integrating with nature and why trying to dominate and control nature is slowly killing us.
WHAT HAS EMERGED FROM THIS OFTENTIMES DISMANTLING WORK, IS A GROUND OF HUMILITY. IT’S A DEPTH OF SELF-LOVE AND A MASSIVE WELL OF COMPASSION THAT I EXTEND TO ALL THE MEN I WORK WITH.
This Show Is About…
The healing power of nature is something that I’ve experienced first hand. I’m not alone in this sentiment. Many people, throughout history, have pointed out nature’s healing power as valued and vital, to their mindset and well being. Henry David Thoreau said, “I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright.”
On a slightly more political note Walt Whitman said, “Without enough wilderness America will change. Democracy, with its myriad personalities and increasing sophistication, must be fibred and vitalized by regular contact with outdoor growths – animals, trees, sun, warmth and free skies – or it will dwindle and pale.” In 2015 a Stanford University study said that 70% of humanity will live in cities by the year 2050. I believe that the increase in depression and anxiety in Western society is caused by a disconnection with the natural world.
I sought out men’s work coach, permaculture designer, and facilitator Soma Miller to discuss these topics on the podcast. Soma’s wisdom and integrity – especially regarding the topic of integration and living within the patterns of the natural world, have been valuable to me throughout the years. I hope that you enjoy this episode.
What you’ll hear on this podcast
- Why it’s particularly important for men to reconnect with nature.
- Doing retreats in nature as a group reveal a lot about us.
- A solo camping trip or even a hike alone are beneficial and help to ward off depression.
- Our theory that inner city urban violence is a direct result of a disconnection with ourselves and the natural world.
- Soma’s upcoming in-person and virtual workshops and men’s groups.
Heather Gray the mindset “shrink” with tips on creating success at any stage in life. Improve performance, achieve your goals at any stage in life.
What this episode is about
Our topic in this episode – Creating success at any stage in life. We’re going to be speaking with Heather Gray. This podcast came about based on Heather’s awesome, “I didn’t come this far, to only come this far” birthday post on Facebook. Heather is going to give us some tips and ideas to change, what you can do to make forward progress in your 40’s and beyond. We talk about making meaningful changes to your life, keeping what you like – or improve upon, and how she is sticking to her own plan for living. This is a powerful no bullshit conversation about what it takes to be successful in all areas of your life. Heather walks her talk, so take notes.
Heather Gray Bio
Heather Gray is a performance and mindset coach for business owners and leaders at Choose to Have It All. Her clients move past sharing pithy, motivational quotes as a mindset strategy and learn instead how to put those concepts into action in their own lives. Join her community group on FB to continue the conversation.
What you’ll learn
- How you can set a powerful intention
- Is it better to set an intention or have goals with deadlines or both?
- How you show up in relationships when you’ve make powerful changes in your life.
- How boundaries change and improve when you set out on a journey to succeed in life.
- Do your identity, goals, and point of view shift when you’re in your 40’s?
- What is consistent intention and how to apply it in life?
- “Talk the talk and walk the walk.” Heather and I discuss what that really means. and the prices that we’ve paid to make success happen.
- How can a person who feels that others are responsible for their own hardships, take responsibility for themselves?
Using Emotions to Better Communicate with Your Partner. Transformational coach Angus Ross gives us the 411 on how to improve communication with your partner during times of emotional turmoil.
What this episode is about
Communication during emotional times is difficult for everyone. For men, in particular, emotional conversations often feel like nightmares to be avoided. We look for ways to either avoid or control the conversation. Logic and reason don’t work during these moments. If we’re smart, we never utter the dreaded words, “calm down”. That seems to have the opposite effect. We scratch our heads wondering why our efforts to calm her has the opposite effect. Any solutions that we present are discarded with contempt. This leaves us feeling unappreciated and resentful. Then we end up avoiding her, and the difficult conversation. At times, sex goes out the window, along with the lack of communication. But what if it didn’t have to be like this? What if you had a plan for what to do during these times?
Transformational coach Angus Ross coaches individuals and facilitates workshops with his wife Rohini Ross. He gives you some solid tips on what to do when emotionally difficult arguments happen. It’s easier than you think. Some of the tips are a little counter-intuitive, but with practice, you’ll be able to navigate these conversations. You’ll come to understand her better, and improve your relationships, making your communications clearer, and your connections stronger.
Angus Ross Bio
After a long career as a fashion and advertising photographer, Angus has taken to transformational coaching like a duck to water. Mentored by the world famous Pransky & Associates, he has developed an insatiable appetite for helping people tap in to their true potential. From the defense industry to women’s retail. from the federal prison system to the world of sport, from couples and individuals, to large groups, Angus connects with his clients in a very honest and open way and then talks about the role of thought and how it either frees or limits us. It sounds simple enough, but this is what helps Angus’ clients tune into their essential nature and experience a much higher degree of success and well-being in their lives.
What You’ll Learn
- A useful description of the 3 Principles, and how to use them in your day to day life.
- Why controlling or avoiding difficult conversations rarely work.
- How to become a model for better communications when the conversation goes “pear shaped”.
- Why telling her to “calm down” usually has the opposite effect.
- When to approach difficult topics of conversation.
- How not to take nasty comments during arguments personally.
- How to rebuild trust when problems arise in the relationship.
What This Episode is About
Lauren Alten spent decades bouncing from being overweight to obese, trying every diet under the sun. One night, she lay in bed with a racing pulse, gasping for air. She prayed the prayer of the desperate and made a vow that if she was shown the way back to health she would not only follow it, but she would light the way for others to follow. This is her story.
She has now found lasting solutions, lost over 60 pounds, achieved her ideal sized body, and maintains it long term. It is her mission to empower women to go from lives of quiet desperation, low energy and expanding waistlines to living their lives Slim Whole and Free.
What You’ll Learn
- Why counting calories or food points doesn’t work.
- The brain chemistry behind sugar and flour addiction.
- Why intuitive eating doesn’t work for a large portion of the population.
- Improving your gut health and restoring your hormone balance.
- Why too much exercise, when you are in weight loss mode, is counter-productive.
- The willpower myth (you really do have plenty of willpower, you just need to understand how to harness it!).
- Slow metabolism? Low thyroid function? Aging body? Bad genes? You CAN still lose weight! Lauren did it with all those factors in place.
- Finding peace and freedom in your ideal sized body.
What This Episode is about
This is episode #10. Is Ayurveda an ancient practice for modern living? This 5000 year old health practice is the traditional Indian system of medicine, promoting balance in bodily health. It uses diet, herbal remedies, breathing techniques, and practical advice for living. This system is over 5000 years old. Modern Ayurveda has brought this ancient medical system to life. It balances traditional wisdom with evidence based practices.
I recently attended a workshop on Ayurveda medicine and lifestyle at the La Maida Institute. This institute is housed in a beautiful old mansion that’s been converted into a center for healing the mind and body. La Maida Institute’s mission is to offer a new way of approaching healthcare; where the human experience, communal support, and spiritual development are central to the healing process. La Maida commits to delivering participatory and integrative programs that empower transformation and restore wholeness. It’s also less than a mile from my place, as a result – Hurrah for me!
The instructor Anjali Deva gave me useful information that I immediately put into practice – to my benefit. I wanted to share all of this with you, and Anjali was kind enough to answer my questions on this episode of the show.
About Anjali Deva
Anjali Deva is a NAMA-certified Ayurvedic practitioner and Yoga teacher in Los Angeles. She is fortunate to have been introduced to Ayurveda and Yoga at a young age by her father, Arun Deva. Her familial lineage is rich with the desire to preserve and maintain this healing art. To further her pratice, Anjali went on to train with Kerala Ayurveda Academy, Loyola Marymount’s Yoga and the Healing Sciences Program. with teachers both in the United States and in India. Her journey began in the kitchen with a desire to understand how the food we eat influences our bodies and minds. This passion has now grown to include helping people find their inner wisdom, clarity and health through the wisdom of Ayurveda. Through self-care practices she hopes to help people find their inner harmony and resilience.
What You’ll Learn
- What is Ayurveda?
- Why a modern person should apply this ancient practice to their lives.
- How to deal with health and mindset challenges, when you have little control over the circumstances.
- Anjali suggests, “Making food choices based on your internal awareness, instead of external information.” What does this actually mean to a person with little knowledge of Ayurveda? Anjali gives several examples.
What This Episode Is About
This is episode #9 of Happy and Healthy Over 40, the show where we discuss, health, sex mindset, lifestyle, and relationships as we enter our 40’s and beyond. In this episode of the show, we ask, does your Paleo based meal plan help you meet your healthy goals? Some of you are new to Paleo or just too busy or can’t quite figure it all out. Busy health conscious people don’t have to rely on their same old boring dishes or tear their hair out finding new ones. You can try new foods and learn new tricks to add to your eating plan. It’s great to not struggle to figure out all of the metrics on calories, and macros when someone has already done it for you.
About Kirsty Briscoe
What You’ll Learn
- What is Paleo and why is it a good choice for a modern life?
- How people screw up Paleo, Vegan, or any other lifestyle and eating plan?
- What’s a curated meal plan and why that might be the smartest idea for you?
- Whole 30 Change Your Life – Change Habits. What that’s all about and how can people get a hold of you Kirsty and her delicious pancakes!
Episode# 8: The Three Principals and Universal Truth
What This Podcast is About
This podcast, The Three Principals and Universal Truth, is a basic explanation that helps us to see how our reality works. It helps us get to the source of knowledge and wisdom. Every now and again, everyone has a great idea or insight that seems to have appeared out of thin air. Imagine these insights coming to you on a regular basis. Since I’ve been studying The Three Principals, stress and anxiety are now greatly diminished. Before, emotions were a problem that needed to be controlled. Ironically, they often times controlled me. Difficult emotions are no longer things that I try to avoid. They are things that I experience. When these emotions subside, I acknowledge them, and move onward. My goal is to address any issues that these emotions bring up in me. As a result, my mind is free to explore, engage, and create in the moment. In addition, I’m more easily able to come up with creative ideas for my work too. The benefits are unlimited. Take a listen.
About Rohini Ross
What You Will Learn
- Why all reality begins in the mind?
- What are the 3 principal?
- The differences between Universal Mind, Consciousness and Thought.
- What is the difference between my thoughts and universal thoughts?
- Change negative thinking. Turn a corner on thoughts that have been present for a lifetime.
- How does this help me in my daily life?
- What is possible and not possible with The Three Principals?
- Why doesn’t The Three Principals have practices, and exercises, like meditation, and visualization?
What this podcast is about:
Episode 7 – Today we talk about overcoming chronic illness. Imagine that you’ve managed to achieve many of your life and career goals all before the age of 40. Your healthy and fit due to your disciplined exercise and diet routines. You’ve got your own business in a field that you find rewarding. Even your community and relationships are nurturing you toward deeper connections in your personal and professional life. Fantastic!
One day you decide to go for a walk. Boom! Out of no place you’re stricken with a debilitating chronic illness. After a life time of being a fit athlete, you can barely move because of horrible joint pain, and flu like symptoms, that don’t go away. You don’t want to leave the house because it’s too much energy to even get dressed. In time, many of your friends stop calling. Some of the friends, that do check in, question your mental state. They tell you that you’re being a “drama queen”, or “oversensitive”.
Now imagine that this goes on for over two years. You did everything right, and you still ended up with a chronic illness. There are so many new physical and mental challenges. Could it all be a bad dream? You never thought anything like this could happen to you.
Psychotherapist Laura Irwin talks about her struggles with Lyme disease, and her courageous journey overcoming chronic illness. She patiently made her way back to health and wholeness. Laura explains the mental impact of chronic disease. Laura became her own health advocate, and her diligent disciplined approach on the road back to a vibrant life is both instructive and inspiring.
About Laura Blair Irwin:
After 20-something years of feeling misplaced in the Midwest, Laura made her way to Boulder, Colorado, hungry for depth, purpose, and spiritual connection. She fumbled her way through new-age fluff; empty yogic promises; and plenty of surface-level, fake-it-till-you-make-it spiritual platitudes from teachers not walking their talk.
But she stayed the course. And eventually… she found it.
A deep and abiding sense of her feminine power. Consistent access to intuition and guidance. Trust in her own voice. Authentic and skillful relationships. And the knowing that she will not shrink or get small for someone else.
“I believe that no matter how far away from yourself you get, you can always come home.” With a few key understandings about how your nervous system is wired, plus some help in listening deeply for the wisdom inside, you’ll unlock a rooted understanding of your behaviors, motivations, and needs that’ll help you guide your life.
What you’ll learn:
- How overcoming chronic illness like Lyme disease can strike anyone at anytime. More facts about Lyme disease.
- What it’s like dealing with a changing identity and noticing your injury was more serious than you suspected.
- How does entering your 40’s (getting older) influence your thoughts and emotions about the world and yourself?
- How Laura came out of despair, and adapted and overcame the hardship of her injuries and unforeseen circumstances?
- What’s working, and what remains a challenge in terms of attitude and health? How do you address your own challenges?
- Laura’s new community: The School of Belonging.
The Yes Man
This past weekend, I’d run into an old roommate, and his new fiance at a lounge. She bossed him around as she held court with her gal pals. The women cooed over the huge rock on her finger, yet nobody seemed to give notice of the groom to be, save for when his future wife needed a refill. “I’m lucky to have her”, he whispered, as not to speak over their animated conversation. Beneath his silent gratitude, I detected the quiet desperation that Thoreau wrote about. Sadly, his song would be buried along with his heart.
Did I feel sorry for him? Did I harbor disdain for her? Not in the least. He was 43 years old. Yes Man was walking in with both eyes open. He’d been married before. It ended poorly for all involved unfortunately.
The First Marriage
His ex and mother in law had browbeaten him into the marriage. They declared him perfect! He was well-mannered, stylish, and most importantly he followed her orders to a tee. She had it all planned right from the start.
He wanted to live downtown, but they bought a house in the Suburbs. He wanted to park his classic truck in the garage. She had it converted into a horse stable. They didn’t own a horse. After the stable was finished, she purchased the horse . She said, his old truck was too ugly to be parked in front of their perfect home. So he sold of his pride and joy and bought an appropriately soulless SUV. The entire place was gutted and retrofitted with new tile, flooring, fixtures, and of course let’s not forget Mr. Ed with all his grooming supplies. Her mother helped select the finest furnishings from the best shops. J Crew had nothing on this set up.
So what went wrong?
The cold hard version of truth is cash, or too much credit and not enough greenbacks. With the vast expanse of her broad imagination working overtime, she dialed her sights on a future of glossy magazine perfection. With one’s head in the clouds, it’s easy to lose sight of the bottom line and present obligations.
He, however, knew precisely what time it was. He’d whined to me about it several times. Why didn’t he say anything about his financial concerns or even stand up for himself and his own desires? The answer is even shorter and colder than money. Fear.
He trembled every time his mother in law would turn up unannounced to give marching orders. If his wife raised her voice he’d break eye contact and cast his eyes downward. His personal qualities the pair of women had declared as perfect were exceptional qualities for a dog, but truly shitty ones for a man.
The truth is my old roomy didn’t have a hair on his ass when it came to women. He once ran from our elderly land lady. We were having a laugh with some friends out in front of our apartment building. Apparently the noise was too much for the octogenarian. She emerged from her apartment howling with anger. He bolted away from her like she had a gun.
Speak Up and Be Clear
He was afraid to speak for himself in the marriage. He allowed himself to be dumped head long into a huge financial mess right from the start. Thankfully the bloodletting ended in about a year.
After his first divorce, he busted his butt trying to rebuild a life for himself. He spent several months sleeping on couches of mutual friends. Soon after, he filed bankruptcy. He worked hard and saved some money, and even found a new job. He was 7 years older, when he was done, and not much wiser.
Sadly, his desire to impress women with shiny objects and fawning attention seemed to have only increased with age. My guess is that he’d become desperate to find a suitable life partner. He put all of his efforts into impressing them and their friends with his agreeableness, and his lightning fast ability to pickup the tab.
In that time, he’d made no effort to evaluate, and build, his own sense of self-worth. He had financial credit, but no grounding understanding of his personal currency. He imagines that all value exists outside of himself. To live this way, is to live in fear – an emotional black hole. He and I had discussed many of these issues in the past. He didn’t care about any of it. It had always been about the smoke and mirrors.
In a way I felt sorry for the new fiance as she smugly basked in the attention of her girlfriends. Like so many career women she’d blue printed her future based on Cosmo’s idea of what life should be. She longed for the power player career, a devilish Prada wardrobe, the Architectural Digest pad, and the 2.5 kids. And no one will stand in her way of getting it.
Instead of a man with his own life path, and the balls to back it up, she carefully selects a pliable man who’ll easily bend to her every whim. She rapaciously hand-picked a guy who’ll support her not from a place of strength, but out of fear of her campaign of shock and awe if he doesn’t.
Eventually, she’ll realize the truth. She’s married to a boring spineless Stepford husband. This truth, will hit her like a ton of Louis Vuitton handbags, falling from the sky. Women loathe these men, but they rarely speak their true feelings in public. If she’s young enough she’ll get out, hopefully with some wisdom for the future. If she wakes up and believes that she’s too old, by society’s standard, to attract a new mate, she’ll likely stay in and have an affair every now and then to remind her that she’s still alive.
The misguided idea that with equality the sexes should become a homogeneous mix has met with terrible results. Whiny borderline effeminate men who desperately seek female approval are popping up by the millions. Hundreds of Pick Up gurus have set up shop, teaching those willing to shell out thousands of dollars, how to get laid. These marketers have dressed these sheep in ill-fitting wolf costumes. Some of the coaches are barely out of high school and have never actually had sex with a woman. What could a 20-year-old virgin teach a grown man about women? Nothing really. They’ve learned to parrot a dogma and do not understand why what they’re teaching actually works. No change takes place only more mindless parroting. Some of these men trick unsuspecting women at the local watering hole into bed before they figure out the sexual con game being played – once in a while.
The key to sexual attraction, is polarity. A woman loves a man with some swagger in his step. He knows his own mind. A man who stands up for himself, and speaks openly, without looking for the approval of others will always attract more female attention than a man who tells people what they want to hear lest he offend someone. This is the worse kind of disconnection. It’s a lie, told out of fear, in the hopes of being accepted.
Confidence and Trust
A good woman wants more than a yes man. She desires the man who has an abundance mentality. There are plenty of women in the world and he knows it. He won’t compromise himself by pretending to be something that he’s not. This especially goes for men in their 40’s and 50’s. For whatever reason, you find yourself back in the dating game at a particular age, never apologize for it. Own it! Many women find older men super sexy. If you express yourself with integrity, and take good care of yourself, it’s yours to lose. Women can see it. You’ll stand out as a man in a room full of boys. She can see that you’re connected to your heart, mind, and balls.
A man who can’t be pushed around, is trusted by women. He’s good for the relationship not because he blindly goes along with her agenda, but because he challenges her opinions and ideas. He keeps an eye on what’s best for them and their relationship. This man introduces her to his full life thus expanding hers. He maintains his integrity in all of his affairs and thus gains her respect. These relationships are fraught with polarization and sexual tension. It is not easy to be at the center of a relationship with two strong personalities. Some become very uncomfortable when they’re at their edge and withdraw. They cheat themselves and their partner of all the juice that is available.
What type of juice do I mean? I already mentioned the growth available to her. However when I think back on the most significant changes that happened in my own life they always coincided with a relationship with a compelling woman. Women have been the source of inspiration for countless achievements by men throughout history. We wouldn’t be here if Columbus hadn’t given Isabella a good turn. After which, she gave up the loot and the three ships. Sexual tension is the energetic source of life itself. A Tantra teacher once told me that sexual energy is the source of our power. I have come to believe this is true. Don’t run from it. Learn to sit with that tension. A good woman will always test a man. Her heady emotional state is the catalyst for growth. Bring her back down to Earth.
Living with intense sexual energy and tension in a relationship, at times, can be volatile. Many emotions can come up for you both. Some men will want to go back to their old “yes man” ways. In these intense moments, the desire to go along, to get along is strong. Remember this, if you break the tension you cut the juice.
Ground Control to Major Pleasure
Grounding her from her whirlwind of emotions is what she sometimes needs from you. It’s not uncommon for today’s woman to be earning more than many men. She doesn’t need your pay check. She needs your strength. One of the most powerful ways to soothe her is through sex. Pleasure is the prescription. Making the biggest female corporate raider quiver with desire, puts you in a special club, regardless of social status or career . Her orgasm is the great equalizer. If you’re too much in awe and are tentative around her you’ll never give her the experience she desires. At some point every woman wants a man who is capable of tearing her panties off, throwing her on the bed and gives her what she desires. You’ll never be that man if you put her on a high pedestal. It’s hard for a mere earthling to even reach that high much less whisper dirty words in her ear while you’re giving her what she so richly deserves.
Go for what I want in life. Make a few waves, and let the chips fall where they may. It feels good to ask for exactly what you want and desire without apology. Trust me on this. Remember, avoiding the discomfort of not being liked by everyone does not earn you any respect. The choice is available to you every morning you arise.
What this podcast is about:
Successfully Using Cannabis to Reduce Inhibitions and Enhance Sexual Pleasure
Does cannabis enhance the sexual experience by reducing inhibitions, and increasing intimate pleasure? Canna-sexual expert, Ashley Manta gives the 411 on this topic. Plus, get some sex tips, and learn about her upcoming workshops in Los Angeles celebrating sexual self acceptance – and weed.
Ashley Manta likes to talk about sex—a lot. It’s not taboo for her. You know what’s else isn’t taboo for her? Cannabis. In fact, this bubbly buxom blonde has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual™ brand. As a professional sex educator, writer, coach, and facilitator, Ashley helps people navigate these topics to make sure they are interacting, loving, and feeling their best in and out of the bedroom. By creating a safe space for people to feel and be heard, Ashley works on softening the restrictive boundaries holding clients back from being their best selves—and doing so in a way that makes people incredibly comfortable.
~From Ashley Manta’s website
What you’ll learn:
- Is Cannabis useful for sex?
- Should people be wary of using Cannabis?
- For what else is Cannabis useful?
- Tips on loving yourself and using cannabis for relaxation and pleasure.
- Working with Ashley and booking her for your own events.