What this podcast is about:
Episode 7 – Today we talk about overcoming chronic illness. Imagine that you’ve managed to achieve many of your life and career goals all before the age of 40. Your healthy and fit due to your disciplined exercise and diet routines. You’ve got your own business in a field that you find rewarding. Even your community and relationships are nurturing you toward deeper connections in your personal and professional life. Fantastic!
One day you decide to go for a walk. Boom! Out of no place you’re stricken with a debilitating chronic illness. After a life time of being a fit athlete, you can barely move because of horrible joint pain, and flu like symptoms, that don’t go away. You don’t want to leave the house because it’s too much energy to even get dressed. In time, many of your friends stop calling. Some of the friends, that do check in, question your mental state. They tell you that you’re being a “drama queen”, or “oversensitive”.
Now imagine that this goes on for over two years. You did everything right, and you still ended up with a chronic illness. There are so many new physical and mental challenges. Could it all be a bad dream? You never thought anything like this could happen to you.
Psychotherapist Laura Irwin talks about her struggles with Lyme disease, and her courageous journey overcoming chronic illness. She patiently made her way back to health and wholeness. Laura explains the mental impact of chronic disease. Laura became her own health advocate, and her diligent disciplined approach on the road back to a vibrant life is both instructive and inspiring.
About Laura Blair Irwin:
After 20-something years of feeling misplaced in the Midwest, Laura made her way to Boulder, Colorado, hungry for depth, purpose, and spiritual connection. She fumbled her way through new-age fluff; empty yogic promises; and plenty of surface-level, fake-it-till-you-make-it spiritual platitudes from teachers not walking their talk.
But she stayed the course. And eventually… she found it.
A deep and abiding sense of her feminine power. Consistent access to intuition and guidance. Trust in her own voice. Authentic and skillful relationships. And the knowing that she will not shrink or get small for someone else.
“I believe that no matter how far away from yourself you get, you can always come home.” With a few key understandings about how your nervous system is wired, plus some help in listening deeply for the wisdom inside, you’ll unlock a rooted understanding of your behaviors, motivations, and needs that’ll help you guide your life.
What you’ll learn:
- How overcoming chronic illness like Lyme disease can strike anyone at anytime. More facts about Lyme disease.
- What it’s like dealing with a changing identity and noticing your injury was more serious than you suspected.
- How does entering your 40’s (getting older) influence your thoughts and emotions about the world and yourself?
- How Laura came out of despair, and adapted and overcame the hardship of her injuries and unforeseen circumstances?
- What’s working, and what remains a challenge in terms of attitude and health? How do you address your own challenges?
- Laura’s new community: The School of Belonging.
The Yes Man
This past weekend, I’d run into an old roommate, and his new fiance at a lounge. She bossed him around as she held court with her gal pals. The women cooed over the huge rock on her finger, yet nobody seemed to give notice of the groom to be, save for when his future wife needed a refill. “I’m lucky to have her”, he whispered, as not to speak over their animated conversation. Beneath his silent gratitude, I detected the quiet desperation that Thoreau wrote about. Sadly, his song would be buried along with his heart.
Did I feel sorry for him? Did I harbor disdain for her? Not in the least. He was 43 years old. Yes Man was walking in with both eyes open. He’d been married before. It ended poorly for all involved unfortunately.
The First Marriage
His ex and mother in law had browbeaten him into the marriage. They declared him perfect! He was well-mannered, stylish, and most importantly he followed her orders to a tee. She had it all planned right from the start.
He wanted to live downtown, but they bought a house in the Suburbs. He wanted to park his classic truck in the garage. She had it converted into a horse stable. They didn’t own a horse. After the stable was finished, she purchased the horse . She said, his old truck was too ugly to be parked in front of their perfect home. So he sold of his pride and joy and bought an appropriately soulless SUV. The entire place was gutted and retrofitted with new tile, flooring, fixtures, and of course let’s not forget Mr. Ed with all his grooming supplies. Her mother helped select the finest furnishings from the best shops. J Crew had nothing on this set up.
So what went wrong?
The cold hard version of truth is cash, or too much credit and not enough greenbacks. With the vast expanse of her broad imagination working overtime, she dialed her sights on a future of glossy magazine perfection. With one’s head in the clouds, it’s easy to lose sight of the bottom line and present obligations.
He, however, knew precisely what time it was. He’d whined to me about it several times. Why didn’t he say anything about his financial concerns or even stand up for himself and his own desires? The answer is even shorter and colder than money. Fear.
He trembled every time his mother in law would turn up unannounced to give marching orders. If his wife raised her voice he’d break eye contact and cast his eyes downward. His personal qualities the pair of women had declared as perfect were exceptional qualities for a dog, but truly shitty ones for a man.
The truth is my old roomy didn’t have a hair on his ass when it came to women. He once ran from our elderly land lady. We were having a laugh with some friends out in front of our apartment building. Apparently the noise was too much for the octogenarian. She emerged from her apartment howling with anger. He bolted away from her like she had a gun.
Speak Up and Be Clear
He was afraid to speak for himself in the marriage. He allowed himself to be dumped head long into a huge financial mess right from the start. Thankfully the bloodletting ended in about a year.
After his first divorce, he busted his butt trying to rebuild a life for himself. He spent several months sleeping on couches of mutual friends. Soon after, he filed bankruptcy. He worked hard and saved some money, and even found a new job. He was 7 years older, when he was done, and not much wiser.
Sadly, his desire to impress women with shiny objects and fawning attention seemed to have only increased with age. My guess is that he’d become desperate to find a suitable life partner. He put all of his efforts into impressing them and their friends with his agreeableness, and his lightning fast ability to pickup the tab.
In that time, he’d made no effort to evaluate, and build, his own sense of self-worth. He had financial credit, but no grounding understanding of his personal currency. He imagines that all value exists outside of himself. To live this way, is to live in fear – an emotional black hole. He and I had discussed many of these issues in the past. He didn’t care about any of it. It had always been about the smoke and mirrors.
In a way I felt sorry for the new fiance as she smugly basked in the attention of her girlfriends. Like so many career women she’d blue printed her future based on Cosmo’s idea of what life should be. She longed for the power player career, a devilish Prada wardrobe, the Architectural Digest pad, and the 2.5 kids. And no one will stand in her way of getting it.
Instead of a man with his own life path, and the balls to back it up, she carefully selects a pliable man who’ll easily bend to her every whim. She rapaciously hand-picked a guy who’ll support her not from a place of strength, but out of fear of her campaign of shock and awe if he doesn’t.
Eventually, she’ll realize the truth. She’s married to a boring spineless Stepford husband. This truth, will hit her like a ton of Louis Vuitton handbags, falling from the sky. Women loathe these men, but they rarely speak their true feelings in public. If she’s young enough she’ll get out, hopefully with some wisdom for the future. If she wakes up and believes that she’s too old, by society’s standard, to attract a new mate, she’ll likely stay in and have an affair every now and then to remind her that she’s still alive.
The misguided idea that with equality the sexes should become a homogeneous mix has met with terrible results. Whiny borderline effeminate men who desperately seek female approval are popping up by the millions. Hundreds of Pick Up gurus have set up shop, teaching those willing to shell out thousands of dollars, how to get laid. These marketers have dressed these sheep in ill-fitting wolf costumes. Some of the coaches are barely out of high school and have never actually had sex with a woman. What could a 20-year-old virgin teach a grown man about women? Nothing really. They’ve learned to parrot a dogma and do not understand why what they’re teaching actually works. No change takes place only more mindless parroting. Some of these men trick unsuspecting women at the local watering hole into bed before they figure out the sexual con game being played – once in a while.
The key to sexual attraction, is polarity. A woman loves a man with some swagger in his step. He knows his own mind. A man who stands up for himself, and speaks openly, without looking for the approval of others will always attract more female attention than a man who tells people what they want to hear lest he offend someone. This is the worse kind of disconnection. It’s a lie, told out of fear, in the hopes of being accepted.
Confidence and Trust
A good woman wants more than a yes man. She desires the man who has an abundance mentality. There are plenty of women in the world and he knows it. He won’t compromise himself by pretending to be something that he’s not. This especially goes for men in their 40’s and 50’s. For whatever reason, you find yourself back in the dating game at a particular age, never apologize for it. Own it! Many women find older men super sexy. If you express yourself with integrity, and take good care of yourself, it’s yours to lose. Women can see it. You’ll stand out as a man in a room full of boys. She can see that you’re connected to your heart, mind, and balls.
A man who can’t be pushed around, is trusted by women. He’s good for the relationship not because he blindly goes along with her agenda, but because he challenges her opinions and ideas. He keeps an eye on what’s best for them and their relationship. This man introduces her to his full life thus expanding hers. He maintains his integrity in all of his affairs and thus gains her respect. These relationships are fraught with polarization and sexual tension. It is not easy to be at the center of a relationship with two strong personalities. Some become very uncomfortable when they’re at their edge and withdraw. They cheat themselves and their partner of all the juice that is available.
What type of juice do I mean? I already mentioned the growth available to her. However when I think back on the most significant changes that happened in my own life they always coincided with a relationship with a compelling woman. Women have been the source of inspiration for countless achievements by men throughout history. We wouldn’t be here if Columbus hadn’t given Isabella a good turn. After which, she gave up the loot and the three ships. Sexual tension is the energetic source of life itself. A Tantra teacher once told me that sexual energy is the source of our power. I have come to believe this is true. Don’t run from it. Learn to sit with that tension. A good woman will always test a man. Her heady emotional state is the catalyst for growth. Bring her back down to Earth.
Living with intense sexual energy and tension in a relationship, at times, can be volatile. Many emotions can come up for you both. Some men will want to go back to their old “yes man” ways. In these intense moments, the desire to go along, to get along is strong. Remember this, if you break the tension you cut the juice.
Ground Control to Major Pleasure
Grounding her from her whirlwind of emotions is what she sometimes needs from you. It’s not uncommon for today’s woman to be earning more than many men. She doesn’t need your pay check. She needs your strength. One of the most powerful ways to soothe her is through sex. Pleasure is the prescription. Making the biggest female corporate raider quiver with desire, puts you in a special club, regardless of social status or career . Her orgasm is the great equalizer. If you’re too much in awe and are tentative around her you’ll never give her the experience she desires. At some point every woman wants a man who is capable of tearing her panties off, throwing her on the bed and gives her what she desires. You’ll never be that man if you put her on a high pedestal. It’s hard for a mere earthling to even reach that high much less whisper dirty words in her ear while you’re giving her what she so richly deserves.
Go for what I want in life. Make a few waves, and let the chips fall where they may. It feels good to ask for exactly what you want and desire without apology. Trust me on this. Remember, avoiding the discomfort of not being liked by everyone does not earn you any respect. The choice is available to you every morning you arise.
What this podcast is about:
Successfully Using Cannabis to Reduce Inhibitions and Enhance Sexual Pleasure
Does cannabis enhance the sexual experience by reducing inhibitions, and increasing intimate pleasure? Canna-sexual expert, Ashley Manta gives the 411 on this topic. Plus, get some sex tips, and learn about her upcoming workshops in Los Angeles celebrating sexual self acceptance – and weed.
Ashley Manta likes to talk about sex—a lot. It’s not taboo for her. You know what’s else isn’t taboo for her? Cannabis. In fact, this bubbly buxom blonde has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual™ brand. As a professional sex educator, writer, coach, and facilitator, Ashley helps people navigate these topics to make sure they are interacting, loving, and feeling their best in and out of the bedroom. By creating a safe space for people to feel and be heard, Ashley works on softening the restrictive boundaries holding clients back from being their best selves—and doing so in a way that makes people incredibly comfortable.
~From Ashley Manta’s website
What you’ll learn:
- Is Cannabis useful for sex?
- Should people be wary of using Cannabis?
- For what else is Cannabis useful?
- Tips on loving yourself and using cannabis for relaxation and pleasure.
- Working with Ashley and booking her for your own events.
What this podcast is about:
Episode #5: Is your fantasy “weird”? Should you try it anyway?
This episode, we discuss sexual fantasies. Are they weird? Sick? Maybe they’re a personal manifestation, of an authentic sexual identity, waiting to be expressed. Sex Therapist Galen Fous discusses this and more.
The big changes such as, divorce, changing cities, or a relationship that is going cold, that drop into our lives like a dive bomber, can sometimes inspire us to make a change for the better. Sexual desires get distorted and repressed in our society. Something like a divorce can be the inspiration to seek out and explore those hidden desires from the shadows.
Transpersonal Psychologist, Galen Fous
Galen Fous is a Transpersonal Psychologist, sex researcher, a kink sex educator. For the past 17 years, Galen has been helping people express their sexuality in an honest healthy and shame free way. Galen advocates for honesty and transparency in expressing our desires, negotiating consent, and boundaries.
What You’ll Learn:
- What are sexual fantasies, and from where do they come?
- Is my fantasy “weird”?
- What if I’m actually pretty kinky? What next?
- How to introduce your fantasies and kinks to sex partners – new and longstanding.
- Avoiding an erotic mismatch.
- Finding a community, to play in, that supports you, and resources for education.
What this Podcast is about:
Attraction is a question that comes up often for anyone who’s ever been a relationship coach. How to get a woman’s attention after 40, is at the heart of that question for single men over 40. Breakups such as divorce are often unwelcome surprises and can leave a man unprepared for the dating world. Maybe confidence in yourself is on the rocks? Is trust an issue for you? Career, finances, and family obligations are the sacrifices that we make to achieve our goals. Sometimes these obligations stand in the way of romance. Years pass and you get more anxious about your prospects for finding the woman of your dreams, or an awesome sexual partner. The older you get the harder it seems to find a great woman. All the good ones seem to be taken. You’ve got to fix this.
You’re in luck. On today’s podcast, I’ve brought in one of the top relationship and dating coaches for men. Shana James has a rare talent. She explains what women think, feel, and want you to do – and she explains it in ways that make for actionable plans.
“I like to talk about this as an opportunity …to get more real.”
~Coach and facilitator – Shana James
Shana has coached nearly a thousand men and almost as many women, around the world, in the past decade. She has led events for Match.com and Table for Six. Ms. James is a dating consultant for an MTV reality show. Shana is an ally for men. She brings a combination of Western and Eastern wisdom with her Masters in psychology, training in man/woman dynamics, as well as yoga, meditation, tantra and various spiritual practices. She does not teach games or pick up lines, but works specifically with each man in the places he holds back and feels stuck.
With incredible love and compassion for men, vulnerability and willingness to tell the truth, Shana makes it safe for you to work through your biggest fears and deepest shame, so you are free to have passionate, fulfilling connections, relationships and sex with the women you really want.
What you’ll learn:
- How to get a woman’s attention after 40
- Dealing with rejection
- Are we a good match vs. am I good enough for her? (self-respect)
- How to recover from desperation/grasping and start automatically attracting a woman’s attention
- Stop apologizing for yourself
- Inspire yourself
- Understanding your own value
In this episode – how to live and work abroad. We discuss if using your holiday time to investigate, and begin your dream of being a Digital Nomad is a smart use of your time, and why it might be cheaper, easier, and improve your quality of life to have location independence. How to investigate whether this lifestyle is for you, and how to get started and plan for the future. Sound good?
Luke Benjamin Thomas or as he’s known by friends and ninjas LBT, created his website ThatMarketingDude.com back in 2012 to help people get started with their online business. He teaches digital nomads how to take their businesses to the next level so they can continue traveling and kicking ass in online business.
Needless to say, LBT, knows how to live and work abroad. He is well informed about living an active and interesting life, and he’s got a wicked sense of humor to boot.
What You’ll Learn in this Podcast
- The difference between a Digital Nomad, and a Location Independent person? Learn the differences between the two?
- Who should consider becoming a Digital Nomad, and who should consider Location Independence? Who should avoid them both?
- Why is it particularly good for people approaching 40 or over to consider this as an alternative to staying in a more traditional 9 to 5 structured work environment?
- What are the major benefits of opening a new chapter in life as a digital warrior or as a location independent person?
- What are the questions a person should ask themselves as they set out in this journey? Also are there particular issues that a person over 40 should pay attention to?
- How can a person with limited time to experiment and explore the possibilities of becoming a Digital Nomad can use their vacation time to answer these important questions.
- Tips for those who have the travel bug and want to explore becoming location independent or a digital nomad.
Hawaiian Spiritual adventure with Dolphins and Whales – The right way to approach a dolphin encounter
Go on a Hawaiian Spiritual adventure with Dolphins and Whales. Learn about the right way and the wrong way to approach a dolphin encounter. This week long retreat is for couples and singles.
In the this episode of the show, we’re going to explore taking a Hawaiian spiritual adventure with dolphins and whales. This retreat is designed to inspire, refresh, and recharge yourself, by putting you in close contact with nature, dolphins, sea turtles, whales, and the rugged beauty of Hawaii, putting you back in touch with your own intuition through play. These week long retreats are for singles and couples.
Our Guest: Hannelore
Hannelore, M.S.C., M.S.H.
Is an inspirational Story Teller, Intuitive Entrepreneur, Author, Motivational Speaker, Counselor and Spiritual Life Coach. Hannelore is also the founder of Communing with Dolphins.
- Logistics and physical details, such as, accommodations, what to expect, and when it all takes place.
- Who should attend.
- The deeper experience of communing with Spinner Dolphins, and other sea life.
- The value of play.
- Health Benefits.
- Safety for you and the sea life.
- How to prepare.
- How to sign up for the retreat.
Retreat Photo Albums:
Related Internal Links:
Fun exciting Summer vacations are here! This month I’ll be speaking to adventure travel experts, who’ll give you the 411 on the best adventure travel destinations. You’ll learn ways to stay healthy and strong while you travel.
We’ll cover how to prepare for your trip. The right type of trip for you. The most suggested trips from travel experts, and last-minute or shorter vacations.
Do One Thing Different
More often than not when people think of vacations they think of a deck chair and a frosty bottle of beer sitting by their side while they stare out at a pristine white sand beach. This is great for a weekend getaway, but for your precious two-week vacation it’s pretty uninspiring. The same old packaged resort experience is boring and lacks imagination. Refresh yourself, and maybe do some good in the world. Why not try something different? Read on!
There are many ways to relax, unwind, and reinvigorate yourself. Yoga retreats are a great option for you to get away from it all. You can work on your tan and treat your body to the love and care it deserves. Meditation retreats can give your body and mind a reprieve from all of the blue light from TV’s and computers. Mundane text messages, and repetitive nonsense plague us in western society. Take a break from the chatter.
Take a week-long yoga retreat and then follow-up with a kayaking trip. You can end your two-week fun exciting vacation by sitting on that sandy beach for that final weekend. Sound good? Sometimes less sitting and more varied fun and healthy activities is more invigorating.
Cruises are sometime the cause of extraordinary weight gain. Sure they’ve got gyms, pools and climbing walls. Mostly, they’ve got big breakfasts, midnight buffets, and taco bars. You can always order room service if you can’t be bothered to roll out of bed for a snack. They’ve got clubs, pubs, and cantinas aboard these floating cities. Did you really fork over all that money for the Zumba classes? Nope. You’re there for the dessert bar! Why not try something more meaningful? Maybe something where you wont have to go on a diet when you return home?
If you’re not happy with the way things are going in our society, then why not take this time to actually do something about it? Ask yourself what is the change you’d most like to see. Then go out and become a part of it. There are churches and other religious organizations that organize trips to other countries to bring spiritual, in addition to, financial, and even physical help to people who need it.
Ecotourism is directed toward exotic, often threatened, natural environments, especially to support conservation efforts and observe wildlife. It’s also another way to stand up for what you believe. why not put your travel dollars to work for a great cause? There are so many fantastic options from which to choose. US, Canada, and Mexico are great. Even more fun exciting vacation options can be found in Africa, Australia, and South America. Your travel photos will certainly be more exciting than the photo of you standing next to Mickey at the Disney cruise. Finally, you’ll feel great because you actually did some good in the world.
That’s it for now. Stay tuned for the month of June and learn more about fun exciting vacation ideas!
Scientists do not understand everything about why sleep is good for us. There is overwhelming data on why not getting enough sleep can kill you. Driving without enough sleep, increases your chances of getting into a car crash. In 2015 the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported that drowsy driving was responsible for 72,000 crashes, 44,000 injuries, and 800 deaths in 2013. These numbers are underestimated and up to 6,000 fatal crashes each year may be caused by drowsy drivers. The CDC reported, an estimated 1 in 25 adult drivers (aged 18 years or older) reported having fallen asleep while driving in the previous 30 days. That’s a lot of people who are asleep at the wheel. An obvious question is, why don’t we just stay awake until we get home?
Without food, water, and proper shelter you can die. Sleep is more precious than any of these. No matter how hard you try to keep burning that candle at both ends, your body will fall asleep. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing. If your body is sleep deprived while you’re in the biggest job interview of you life – you will fall asleep. Nothing you can do about it. That’s how much more important sleep is to your health and well being.
Causing car wrecks due to drowsy driving is an obvious result of being sleep deprived, but what about other health factors that don’t involve your face smashing, at 70 miles per hour, into a windshield? To start, sleep deprivation is a serious factor when it comes to high blood pressure, depression obesity, and inflammation. In short, the longer that you are awake, the more you need sleep.
Keep up on the topic of the importance of sleep and how to get great sleep by signing up below and I’ll send you tips on how to improve your sleep patterns. Next week we’ll be discussing foods and supplements that can help you find the rest that you need.