The podcast, “Embracing Your Strength – Masculine and Feminine Power with Julie Fernandez”, is a conversation that came about on a sunny Southern California afternoon. Julie is my yoga teacher. We also share a love for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Often times, our conversations center on exercise and strength training.
As we sipped mint tea, on the rear patio of La Maida Institute, the topic shifted to our vulnerabilities. It was a surprise to learn that Julie wasn’t always so confident and self-assured. Like many of us, Julie imagined that she was not meeting her own expectations.
Julie had a hard time accepting her physical strength as an asset. She considered it unfeminine. She felt it was a masculine trait. Anytime someone would complement her on how strong she was, Julie would cringe. Her idea of female beauty was a dainty, petite girly girl. Julie didn’t see herself in the corporatized slick advertising in the media.
This is her story of continuing evolution, and growth. She now understands that her beauty flows from her strength. How did she learn this lesson? Listen to the podcast!
I had a great time doing this one. Julie’s journey of greater understanding of masculine and feminine power and her own self acceptance, is inspiring, and informative.
Hector: This is episode 25 of happy and healthy over 40, the website and podcast for people over 40, where we discuss Health, sex, mindset, lifestyle, and relationships – as we enter our forties and Beyond. Whether you want to maintain your vitality, grow your competitive Spirit, or you want to keep a clear mind and a powerful body. Maybe you just want to feel healthy. You’ve come to the right place you may not be 21 years old anymore but you can feel like a million bucks.
On this episode of the show we’re going to be speaking with Julie Fernandez Julie is a trauma therapist and operations manager for La Maida Institute – a holistic Wellness Center here in North Hollywood California. She’s also a yoga instructor and program manager for Exhale to Inhale. Julie’s been on the show once before and it’s a real pleasure to have her back! Julie is also my yoga instructor. She’s helping me improve my flexibility and Joint strength so that I can continue to do Brazilian jiu-jitsu. She’s also Brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioners as well.
Our topic today is embracing your strengths and masculine and feminine power welcome Julie!
Julie: thank you thank you, nice to be back
Hector: Right on. We’ve had a couple of interesting conversations recently. We got into the topic of embracing your strength it started out as a conversation about martial arts and feeling strong and embracing that power. The power that you feel. It evolved into this conversation about embracing our power.
You and I both didn’t want to accept our own power. The way that you are powerful – the way that it came across to me was that you didn’t want to acknowledge that power. You’re finally acknowledging that. Please let the listeners know about that.
“I didn’t want to be seen as weak.”
Julie: it’s been a journey we talked about that it stems back from childhood. I’m a Survivor of a lot of abuse, a lot of sexual and physical abuse. In many cases my power was taken away I always felt really weak and in order for me to keep going I had to be tough. I wanted to do away with all the girly stuff.
I didn’t want people to see me as weak. Because, I had to be strong cuz I had to protect myself. It’s really helpful to have that and then as I got older.
As I grew into a woman, I also wanted to be seen as feminine so then I had to let go of that strong Persona or so I thought and whenever somebody would mention that I was strong physically. I remember having such a negative reaction to it and got to be seen as a strong woman. It’s just that whole dynamic is really hard for me to accept that I am strong I wanted to be seen as a beautiful woman it was hard for me to accept both – to be seen as both.
“…feeling my strength… it was really healing for me.”
The last few years I started getting into weight training, and I started tapping into my strength even my trainers and some of the people I train with would always comment that I feel so strong. I don’t want to be and I am actually really strong – physically strong.
It was something to see myself get stronger and stronger each time lifting heavier and heavier weights. this is me learning to accept that what would it be like for me to use that in different ways and that’s when I started to get into Jiu Jitsu and seeing and feeling my strength in that way it was really really healing for me for me.
Learn more by listening to the podcast…
Metta Healing arts
Exhale to Inhale
La Maida Institute
The Healing Power of Mindful Breathing
Domains of Well Being and Happiness
Returning to Jiu Jitsu After 40
Episode 25: Sexual Empowerment Over 40 with Celeste Hirschman. Some of our deepest pain is related to sex and personal relationships. Sexual empowerment over 40 with Celeste Hirschman, is an open conversation about feeling loved and held instead of abandoned and disconnected. It gets easier to be sexually empowered after the age of 40. Advertising and media are not marketing to you as heavily. This frees you up to live the life you always wanted. That includes great sex!
About Celeste Hirschman
Celeste Hirschman received her Master’s Degree in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University. Ms. Hirshman taught as a lecturer at San Francisco State University (SFSU) in the Human Sexuality Studies Department and was a Project Manager at SFSU’s Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality, where she co-authored numerous articles on adolescent sexual development. She is the Co-founder and the Co-creator of the Somatica Method ® and trains coaches in the method. Celeste also has her own private practice where she sees clients in her San Francisco office.
Somatica’s Mission Statement
Our Mission is to fill the world with love, erotic pleasure, connection, satisfying relationships, and self-aware people who feel free to fully express themselves and can support others in doing the same.
April 8th 2018 is when the next Introduction to Somatica Core Training. The program begins on the 26th of April. Enrollment is open until the 25th of April.
Articles and Blog Posts
Celeste and Danielle
Better Communication with Your Partner
Dating After 40
Getting a Woman’s Attention After 40
Cannabis and Sexual Pleasure
Episode 23 – How Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Helped Black Belt Mike Radell Beat a Heart Attack: 76-year-old, Mike Radell is a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu black belt and a very wise man. In this episode, Mike explains how his strenuous training and dedication to BJJ helped him overcome the effects of a heart attack. He teaches the importance of vigorous exercise in your life, as you continue to get older, in order to stay out of the doctor’s office, and into the life that you love!
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Blackbelt Mike Radell shares his insights in training for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Mike has been an inspiration for me personally. He’s always been one of the black belts at Machado academy that I looked up to, because he was older and yet always appeared to be very energetic and full of life. He’s the quiet humble dude that you’d never want to mess with and that impresses me most of all! I’ve been looking forward to this interview for several months now.
If you’re worried if you’re too old to try something new, then consider that, Mike was 55 years old when he began his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu career. Ten years after that, Mike suffered a heart attack. His cardiologist said the strenuous exercise and BJJ training had strengthened Mike’s arteries. In short, living an active lifestyle had saved Mike’s life.
Ironically, the doctor was also a judo player. His name is Maeda. The man who brought BJJ to the Gracie family in Brazil was named Mitsuyo Maeda. Coincidence or fate?!? When Mike asked him if it was a good idea to continue to train after the heart attack, the Judoka said, he didn’t see a reason why Mike shouldn’t.
Even though Mike is 76 years old, he makes time to practice Jiu Jitsu, every week. He’s built friendships, and continues to improve as a BJJ player. He admits that the life he leads is better because he stays fit and eats healthy. Mike advocates for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, not because of winning belts or medals, but because it makes his life better.
He also was the man who introduced the sport of Jiu Jitsu to Felicia Oh. She has gone on to win many titles, and is a member of the “Dirty Dozen”. These are the first twelve non-Brazilian women to achieve Black belt in BJJ. Felicia gives thanks to Mike in her interview here on an episode of the podcast.
Mike spends quality time, riding bikes, and surfing with his son. He travels with his wife, and usually manages find to a Jiu Jitsu Dojo for training during their travels. He is also preparing the next generation for BJJ by teaching his grand children this martial art.
What does it mean to be “happy”? The Domains of well-being and happiness is a great episode if you’ve every asked yourself, “Why am I not happy?” or if anyone has asked you, “What would make you happy?”. Some of us have forgotten the answer to this question for ourselves.
Dr. Jeffrey Jessum, and I discuss the nature of happiness after 40. Jeffrey E. Jessum is a clinical psychologist and long-time practitioner of Mindfulness Meditation. He received his Bachelor’s degree in psychology from UCLA and his Master’s and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the California School of Psychology.
What is Happiness?
“Happiness is the relief after extreme tension.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
There are two definitions to this question. One definition is emotional happiness. This type of happiness is the pleasant sensations in the body that we experience, when we’re rewarded with something. We feel this type of happiness in childhood, when mommy gives us a cookie, for being a good boy.
The second definition is the domains of well-being. Dr. Jessum says there are four domains of well-being. The first is our relationship to ourselves. It’s the subjective way in which we see the world. The second domain is how we see others.
Dr. Jessum talks a lot in this podcast about the third domain. This is all about our physical health, and vitality. Jeffrey models this aspect well in his personal life. He is very physically active and is a long time advocate of meditation. Exercising outdoors instead of at the gym, always improves my own mood. Try it! In my opinion, this aspect of well-being and happiness is the one that is easiest to understand for most people. Many have a hard time communicating with others, but everyone can understand why a hike in the mountains can make you happy.
The fourth is our understanding of the physical environment around us. This one can be a tough one for some. Living or working in a dangerous environment, can be a contributing factor, to potential unhappiness. Children growing up in a broken home, where violence is an almost daily occurrence, contributes to their unhappiness. Although, even a poor environment may not effect some people. We’re all wired a little differently from one another.
Can you learn to be happy?
“We don’t even ask happiness, just a little less pain.” ~ Charles Bukowski
Some men, over 40, have forgotten what it means to be happy, because we spend so much of our time trying to make others feel happy. Our bosses, wives, and children always come first. When is there time for us. Dr. Jessum and I discuss this as well. It’s more than possible to be happy. It’s essential!
Working with a coach or therapist is a good way to get a handle on your own personal domains of well-being and happiness. Dr. Jessum’s website has a lot of tips for you to check into on the topic. You can contact him at the website, if you want to work with him. You can always contact me here with any and all questions or comments.
Keywords; domains of well-being, coaching happiness, well-being healthy care, integral, integral psychotherapy, wellness, employee well-being, happiness, mental happiness
What could Einstein accomplish if he was alive and healthy Today?
Relieving suffering through emerging Biotechnology, is an informative and refreshing conversation with CEO of Bioquark, His company is committed to developing medicine that will be used to regenerate and repair the complex organs and tissues of our bodies. In this episode, Ira explains the future of medicine, and it’s looking bright.
A Dark Past Leads to a Bright Future
Imagine that your cruising down the boulevard on your motorbike. The engine rumbles underneath you. You feel like the king of the world. You’re off to meet some buddies, for some fish tacos and beers, by the beach.
Your life has suddenly changed for the worse and forever. The doctors tell you how lucky you are to be alive. Loved ones keep telling you, “I told you so” and “Motorcycles are so dangerous”. None of this helps you – But you know what might just help?
Cutting edge biotechnology, is changing mankind’s future. Bioquark, and other biotech companies, are inventing medications to help people who’ve lost limbs grow new ones. Many with spinal injuries will walk again. Organ transplant lists will become a thing of the past. You will be able to regrow kidneys, and other organs. Your doctor will not have to worry if your immune system will reject the organ. because it will be your own!
Bioquark is also working on reversing the aging process through biotechnology. They’re studying some amazing creatures in nature, and our own DNA, in order to understand how to turn on genes in our bodies, that have laid dormant for thousands of years. Creatures like jellyfish, lizards, and sharks hold the keys to the future of modern medicine. Mr. Pastor and his team have learned a lot from studying the genome of these animals and comparing it our own.
“Combining regenerative biology, molecular biology, and biological cybernetics, Bioquark’s main objective is on developing a new type of medicine called combinatorial biologics, which take a unique approach to reversing life threatening disease, and aging, as opposed to just treating the symptoms of these conditions.”
~From Bioquark’s website
Can cookware cause cancer
In this episode – Dietary Solutions for Treating Seasonal Depression. We’re speaking with Amber Gourley, the disobedient dietitian. The topic is, seasonal depression. We set the clocks forward in most of the country during the winter months, because daylight is such a precious thing to us all. Many people look forward to the change of seasons. The falling leaves, chilly sweater weather, snowfall, and cozy nights hugged up with a loved one are some of the things we enjoy. For other people the lack of light during the day leads to reduced melatonin level. This reduction leads to a type of seasonal depression that can leave you feeling flat, listless, and depressed. At times the low mood can be overwhelming. Even a sad song on the radio can make you want to go back to bed and put the covers over your head for the rest of the day. Sound familiar?
Amber believes in uncovering the root cause of health issues and healing them, not just putting a band-aid on them and hoping for the best. Today she’s going to be giving us some tips on how to deal with this phenomena through diet. Amber Gourley is known as the Disobedient Dietitian for good reason. She uses hard science and tests to ensure that her clients are eating properly and getting the best nutrition, not government charts and graphs.
What is SAD?
The name of this phenomenon is called Seasonal Affective Disorder also known as SAD. The acronym SAD also stands for the Standard American Diet. This is ironic, because as a dietitian Amber is not an advocate of how most Americans eat, and the manipulation by food lobbyists in Washington on our health.
You’re not alone – It’s a worldwide problem
SAD affects millions of people worldwide every year. Statistics show that seasonal depression is an issue for up to 8 percent of the population. In Scandinavian countries this depressive disorder is the perceived cause of significant increases in suicide rates, due to the low sun during winter months.The disorder isn’t as significant in countries close to the equator. They’re less affected because the get more sunlight.
People living closer to the equator are probably getting more fresh air and outdoor activity. It’s easier to socialize and engage in fun activities when the weather is warmer. The winter months can especially be a drag for those that struggle with social anxiety. It’s hard enough for these folks to be around others. The winter months gives them an excuse to isolate at home in a dark apartment.
What is it about the sun?
Scientists don’t have a complete understanding of a reduction in the amount of sunlight can initiate depression. The best explanation is that reduced sunshine triggers changes in amounts of the hormone melatonin produced by the body. When melatonin levels go down, so does the activity of certain brain neurotransmitters such as serotonin. The lowering of serotonin activity in the hypothalamus has long been believed to be connected to heightened anxiety and severe depression.
Between 80 to 90 percent of the body’s serotonin, is in the gastrointestinal tract. Serotonin used in the brain is produced within the gut. This is why it’s essential to eat loads of leafy greens, and bright orange vegetables. These delicious foods are super abundant during the winter months. Nature knows what it’s doing!
It is thought that serotonin can affect moods like depression, and anxiety. It also affects social behavior, appetite and digestion, sleep, memory and sexual desire and function. Amber and I feel that a good diet and getting out in the daylight hours for some exercise can be a great remedy for the sadness and anxiety of this type of depression.
Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder
- Low Energy
- Lack of concentration
- Changes in sleeping patterns – more or less sleep than normal
- Changes in appetite – also eat more or less than normal
- Unexplained crying
- Negative self-image
- Weakened immune system vulnerability to illness
- Loss of interest in activities which are usually of value or pleasurable
- Possible instances of suicidal ideation
Keywords: Seasonal Depression, seasonal affective disorder, SAD, Sadness, Anxiety, depressed, sad songs, winter blues, melatonin, serotonin, hormones